This movie starts off like a comedy, which is fine if that’s what it’s aiming for, but when you go in expecting action and get slapstick humor instead, it feels off. The tone is all over the place. The story follows Marvin Gable (Ke Huy Quan), a former hitman turned real estate agent, but it doesn’t do much with that concept. It throws him into a situation where his past comes back to haunt him, yet there’s no proper setup, no real stakes, and no explanation for why things happen the way they do. The transitions are rushed, and the pacing feels like the script was pieced together without a clear vision. There’s barely a plot, just a series of chaotic events with little to no build-up. The directing is a mess. Scenes escalate with no logic, and major moments happen so fast they don’t have any weight. Cinematography is just as frustrating, especially with the camera constantly circling Marvin whenever he’s deep in thought, which happens way too often. At one point, the movie spends nearly half of the second act on him repeating that he needs to “face his past.” It’s exhausting. The fight scenes aren’t much better. One guy throws knives at the ground, what was he aiming at exactly? others conveniently forget they have guns, or they point straight and shoot as if they're part of a first person shooter game. The action is so choreographed and predictable that it loses any tension. The acting doesn’t help either. Ke Huy Quan does his best, but the role just doesn’t fit him. The supporting cast feels like they’re forcing their performances, especially in the few moments where the movie tries to develop its characters. It’s like they added emotional depth as an afterthought instead of making it feel natural. Then there’s the script, which is a whole other issue. The dialogue is repetitive, with Marvin narrating every single thing he’s about to do instead of just doing it. It makes the movie feel dumbed down, as if the audience needs to be spoon-fed every thought and decision. Even the music choices are questionable. The score doesn’t match the tone of the scenes, making everything feel even more disconnected. It’s as if someone randomly picked tracks without considering how they fit into the story. By the time the big climax rolls around, the movie has already lost all sense of direction. When Marvin finally fights his past (literally and figuratively), it plays out in the most ridiculous way possible, with one-on-one fights that ignore any logical strategy. In the end, Love Hurts is a frustrating watch, disjointed, poorly executed, and lacking any real impact.

“Marv” (Ke Huy Quan) is a cheery real estate agent who’s just won an award for his sterling efforts when he receives an unwelcome visitor at his office. “The Raven” (Mustafa Shakir) is a poet, he loves his verse - but he’s also an useful man with his knives too, and after a few minutes we begin to suspect that this meek little estate agent has really got all the ninja skills of “John Wick”. It transpires that he used to be an enforcer for his sibling “Knuckles” (Daniel Wu) who has been mixed up with some Russians and is now worried that “Rose” (Ariana DeBose) has managed to wheedle some information from his missing accountant “Kippy” (Rhys Darby). Now she is supposed to have been killed already, but big brother is sceptical and because “Rose” and “Marv” have some past, it’s going to be down to him to find her before she finds him! The first ten minutes of this are quite good fun as it pokes some fun at the faux-sincerity of the “Glengarrry Glen Ross” brigade but thereafter it all just descends into a rather farcical affair with it’s lightly-comedic and repetitive fight scenes destroying some perfectly good fitted kitchens. Sean Astin features briefly, but to no real purpose as the cat and mouse game vacillates between the two teams and some family menace ensues. DeBose tries hard, for that matter so does Quan, but the story is the stuff of a very weak Jackie Chan affair that rumbles along predictably and without much charm. It’s short, which is a good thing, and it’s not un-watchable, but it’s not good either.

Sadly, Love Hurts is Ke Huy Quan’s first film as a leading man after winning an Academy Award for Everything Everywhere All at Once. Quan’s acting career was sparse for nearly 40 years, but trained in martial arts his entire life and worked with Corey Yuen (martial arts choreographer for The Man with the Iron Fists, director of The Transporter) as a fight coordinator on X-Men and a stunt choreographer on Jet Li’s The One. Quan is the highlight of Love Hurts. He’s likable and conflicted as Marvin Gable. Quan has this relatable charisma to his performances and that’s no different here. He’s wise and compassionate in the film while willing to tutor whoever is willing to listen. His action sequences are impressive with the speed and innovation of a Jackie Chan fight and a kind of brutality you’d find in a modernized Shaw Brothers film. Other decent aspects of the film are Marvin’s brother Alvin (Daniel Wu), better known as Knuckles, drinking boba tea whenever he’s on screen. You half expect him to bleed boba by the end of the film. There’s also a knife-wielding hitman (think Danny Trejo’s Navajas in Desperado) called Raven (Mustafa Shakir). Raven has the best fights in the film, but he writes poems whenever he isn’t killing. While the action is mostly solid in Love Hurts, the first actual fight in the film is rough. Involving bumbling hitmen Otis (Andre Eriksen) and King (Marshawn Lynch), who bicker like an old married couple and argue over Otis’ wife wanting to leave him like a weird bromance you’d find in a goofy stoner comedy like Pineapple Express, you can noticeably see Ke Huy Quan’s stunt double in this fight while a noticeable dummy is used moments later. It doesn’t seem like one of those on-purpose moments for laughs either, but rather a poor editing job or was rushed due to time constraints. But at least the POV shots inside the microwave and fridge during this fight are fun. The action comedy feels like someone cut out the middle portion of the Kill Bill films and presented it as one film. Love Hurts is about a guy who used to kill people for his brother, but eventually got out. He fell in love with the last target he was supposed to kill, staged her death, and got them both out. Then he started a new life as a realtor. The film makes it a point to portray the fact that you can’t outrun your past, but that line alone makes Love Hurts feel so predictable. Rose (Ariana DeBose), is the woman Marvin fell in love with who has returned for revenge. But she forces Marvin back into life for selfish reasons and it seems like she doesn’t love him at all. She only uses him for his ability to kill. She treats him like dirt the entire film and ruins his life all because she doesn’t want to run and hide anymore—hardly the actions of someone who reciprocates admiration for another individual. An accountant named Kippy (Rhys Darby) is captured by Rose to locate $4 million which was part of the cause of why Rose went into hiding. While Kippy is tied up, two of his teeth are ripped out when the duct tape over his mouth is removed. But the mouthpiece looks like it was the cheapest one they could find because it looks like the jagged and oversized hillbilly teeth you normally find in a plastic baggy at a Halloween costume store. Love Hurts is watchable because of Ke Huy Quan and the film features some decent action. However, the humor is juvenile and total cringe and the story is total butts. The characters in this film don’t have arcs. They have U-turns and straight lines. This is unfunny mediocrity with fast-punching turbulence and that hurts almost as much as the title of this film.

<em>'Love Hurts'</em> is one I highly enjoyed, thanks to thoroughly entertaining action, a good cast and a nicely paced 83 minute run time. There are things that can be classed as issues, for example the internal monologues are iffy and it's perhaps a tad over sentimental in parts. Those aforementioned things aren't a big deal for me though, like at all. I'd recommend this and would happily revisit it, I'd imagine the rewatchability is pretty high. The pure action is great to watch, there is some top stunt work on show. It's super satisfying to see unfold. Ke Huy Quan brings a strong lead performance, as he is supported competently by Ariana DeBose - who has been extremely busy this last year or two, not that that's a negative as I do enjoy seeing her. Daniel Wu, Marshawn Lynch, André Eriksen and Sean Astin are decent too. Mustafa Shakir is the best behind Quan/DeBose, probably the best character overall in terms of the look, body language etc. Also, is it just me (most likely) or does he look/sound like he'd be a perfect Scar from <em>'The Lion King'</em> - I can't unsee it. If Disney ever go <em>'Cats'</em>-esque *shudder*, he's their man. It makes little sense and is too silly in certain moments, granted. However, I had the desired amount of fun with it.